Therapy

I'd say it's been about a year since I posted. Alot has happened, but not much has changed. Looking back on my other two entries I'm realizing a few things. First of all, i am who I am and if you (meaning my boyfriend) don't like it, shove it. I wrote in one entry that I was needy. P:erhaps. But the point is part of it is I have a huge heart and I just need to give it away. My boyfriend doesn't understand this and gets suspicious.
I'm alot more giving than my boyfriend. He's constantly down, constantly cynical. I mean, that's not all he is or I wouldn't be with him. My point is I try to build him up, not tear him down. I don't think I've told him too many times, "get over it" or "deal with it" maybe I have, but I don't recall it. And I try to do it in a loving, gentle way.
So anyway, yesterday A 15 year long friendship ends with my friend telling me she doesn't have time for me anymore. Naturally I'm depressed. So he says, "you're always down lately" not at all in a comforting way. My first reaction is I'm pissed. Fucking help me please. Next I'm thinking, is this true. I suppose it's good to know, I need to keep an eye on it. But anyway, back to being pissed. I just know I can rely on one person: myself.